So unfair

So my girlfriend didn't allow me to go out on saturday, because she didn't want me to so I stayed and stayed loyal and faithful to my girl. By the time sunday arrives, she was invited by her "BESTFRIEND" who is a guy. Well, I know it's unusual to see a girl with a boyfriend and have a "BESTFRIEND" because, always it will conflict with the boyfriends mind what will they do when i'm not with them right?

What the fuck's with this girl anyway? Where did she even get the courage to tell me that on the same day that she'll go out with her MALE bestfriend. She said to me that she won't go out because she has no money, and guess what? Her bestfriend asked her out and she suddenly has money. While she can spend money on her bestfriend but not on our outing? What the actual fuck, and she'd let me spend money on the day of our outing where I am going to be included. This life is ruined, I don't even know what to do. Sometimes I feel like I am the victim of this world, I wanted to make everyone happy and make her happy, guess what? Her bestfriend makes her happy, and if that's what it makes her happy. I'll let her be. I hope she's happy. I told her that I will make her happy even if it takes my own, but now I feel like she's so selfish. She gets to do stuff while I stay here at home doing nothing at all, I deserved to be punished for the things I have done throughout the years and it seems that I really deserve what's coming to me.

Maybe one day, i'll find my happiness, somewhere down the road but i'm not hurrying up to get it.
She makes me happy more than anything else, but sometimes she makes me feel like I'm shit. I don't deserve to be happy, she does. I'm sorry if one day you'll find out about this and babasahin mo. Pero wala akong magagawa ito nalang ung tanging paraan para mailabas ko ung nararamdaman ko eh. Ayaw kong mawala ka, pero sana malaman mo ung limitasyon mo. Lalo't na alam mong ayaw ko sa mga kaibigan mong lalaki. Ako one week ako nagpaalam before kami lumabas, pero one day mo lang pinagisipan di buong week. Lahat binibigay ko sayo, LAHAT ng gusto mo. Pero ako kahit minsan isa sa mga gusto ko parang wala kang pinagtuunan ng pansin. Di ako nagagalit sayo pero bakit lagi mo nalang kailangan paramdam sakin na ganito? Unfair ka, lagi mo nalang ako tinetest, alam mo ng di mo ako pinapunta doon sa lakad namin tapos nakuwanan mo pang kumuwa ng lakas ng loob magpaalam dahil aalis ka. Sa susunod, kung ayaw mong gawin sayo, wag mong gagawin sa iba. Same day ka lang nagpaalam sakin na aalis ka. Between the hours pa nga ng paglabas niyo eh, tapos sa pagpapaalam mo alam mo ng sure ka na papayagan ka. Di ka man lang nagtanong kung masama loob ko. Sana naisip mo man lang ung nangyari sa paalam ko. Sa tuwing ikaw nalang nagpapaalam nakakalimutan mo na ung mga previous na pangyayari kundi wala kang magawa pero sumama sa napaka mahal mong "BESTFRIEND"